enough of that

I don’t realize how much I love her until just now when I’m packing all my stuff I saw two pieces of cards, a gift and a picture of her. I read what she wrote, and it’s so beautiful that tears started to fall. How come I let such a nice girl slip out of my hand and I have taken her life for granted. And now I started to miss her again, her laugh and her beautiful smile.

It is true what people once said, once we lost something, then we know the pain of losing it. We know the important of her in our life. So I promise to myself even it is hard to believe and hard to accept as it was the God fate, I promise that whoever come to my life next time I’ll make sure I appreciate her as best as I could. Enough of the pain and suffering that I have been through so far, I’m not gonna let it repeated once again, because it is really difficult for me to stand back after such a great “hurricane” that hit me to ground before.

For you, I am really sorry for taking you for granted and I am truly sorry for what I have done that disappointing you.

new era, new spirit and new house

New era has begun, and we suppose to register for our new academic year on this 28th of September this Monday. To begin with, we have a new for everything, new spirit and new house..yeah we gonna move to Taman Pelangi Semenyih about 4 kilometer from our current rental house. Tonight I just came back from visiting our new accommodation, the environment are quite ok, there a lot of neighbors and quite happening with children playing around at the side of the street. We are surrounded by multi-racial community, even my right side neighbor is Indian and on the left side is Chinese. Really portray the true one Malaysia spirit itself (literally, not spiritually I guess).

Hmm…there will be a little privacy for me next term because I’m going to have my own room..haha..Privacy is more important. But then, bilik kat bawah tu agak terpencil and memerlukan keberaniaan untuk tidur sorang2, because most activities this time will be held upstairs. even tv pon kitorang will place at the leisure room upstairs. Nah, nak tgk tv pon kene exercise naik atas..aduyai.. but its ok la..bukan sebab yang mungkin korang pk kan why I stress out about privacy cuma aku ni jenis yang agak tak kemas (tapi bukan pengotor) biasala kan budak laki, baju kain sumer main campak jek atas tilam. Stoking entah kemane, underwear merata-rata ngan tuala tak jemur ape. So agak segan la sket, ngan housemate lain yang agak pembersih, yang mementingkan kebersihan. Bukanya aku tak leh ubah benda tu, tapi aku tak nak diri aku terikat dengan sesuatu. Aku suka bebas, and no one should tell me what I should do and what I shouldn’t do. Aku tak suka orang yang bossy.

Ok la, enough with all that. Sebenarnya tadi when we are “sightseeing” the house I felt something strange about that rumah, terlampau sunyi and orang kelate cakap xdek seri; it means suram, usually when u go kat umah-umah kampung yang pemiliknya tak berapa mesra dengan penduduk kurang bergaul n orang pon jarang pergi umah dorang, ade satu strange feeling pasal umah tu, nampak gelap, dan xbermaya. But I couldn’t describe what exactly I felt, mungkin umah tu xdek org duduk sebelom ni kot and we are the first tenant for that house..hmm ataupun maybe it just my perasaan kot. ape-ape pon for sure kitorang akan buat doa selamat dan baca yassin before duduk.

Aduh, banyak giler pasal umah. Ok pasal new term or new academic year plak. This year will be our last year and the most crutial stage I’d say. Because, bayak projek and koswork plus the work load mungkin bertambah kot. this year kitorang ade 7 compulsory modules and two optional module plus one design project that worth about 120 credits for one year. Owh forgot to mention credit kitorang xsame ngan credits most of IPTA student. Mostly dorang ade 18 , 17 kredit jekkan. Tapi kitorang setiap module woth 10 kredit. Entah camner nak kira.

last but not least, I’m hoping this time, with everything new, paan yang lama will change. Entah la, gak susah jgak, but I’ll try. Doakan semoga kami damai disini dan insyaAllah saya akan mendoakan kebahagiaan dan kejayaan korang jugak. Sesungguhnya doa yang mustajab adalah apabila umat islam itu mendoakan sesame mereka yang lain.

tolong jaga tepi kain orang sket

tolong jaga tepi kain orang. hmm..agak cliche dan agak kontroversial punye tajuk. tapi itulah yang aku cuba untuk emphasis dalam tajuk entry ni. sebenarnya aku dah lihat begitu banyak kekalutan dan jenayah yang aku kira boleh kita cegah dari berlakunya. tolong jaga tepi kain orang sekeliling, tu bukan bermakna kita perlu always stick our nose on people's personal matters. tu yang salahnya bila aku cakap jaga tepi kain, cukup sekadar tepi kain saja, bukan sampai barang dalam kain seluar orang pun kita amek kisah. itu yang tidak betul nya...

sebenarnya entry ni diinspired oleh seorang awek yang aku lihat on the way balik lepas lunch tengah hari tadi. aku tengok awek ni dok sorang-sorang ngah tunggu bas, pas tu ade la dua or tiga orang lelaki naek motor approach. at first aku lihat maybe lelaki tu member die kot so aku just ignored je la. without thinking much, that they would give any harm to her. aku just berlalu pergi. sebelum blah tu, sempat gak aku tengok awek tu cam agak unaesy ngan dorang tu, maybe sebab asap rokok or asap motor kot..xde ape buruk yang aku fikir.

esoknya aku dengar berita yang seorang gadis telah di rogol dan di rompak oleh sekumpulan lelaki sewaktu tunggu bapa die fetch from school. actually bukan gadis semalam yang aku lihat, tapi straightly otak aku terus direct ke gadis tu, macam mana kalo gadis tu yang kene dengan sekumpulan lelaki kelmarin? tak kah aku pun turut bersubahat or at least mempunyai tanggungjwab sosial yang perlu aku penuhi semalam?

sebenarnya isu yang paling perlu untuk di ketengahkan adalah tanggungjawab sosial, kita semua ada tanggungjawab terhadap sosial masing-masing dan jugak masyarakat sekeliling. hidup bermuafakat membawa berkat. that's the way it is. kita haruslah selalu alert dengan masyarakat sekeliling punyer condition. ni tak, even jiran sendiri pun kite tak kenal (lucky for us dapat jiran yang bagus cam auntie).

kau dan aku

i have found the most interesting pic about our nation in the net..this posting are not meant to provoke anything or give anything negative perspective to any country.

[click the image to have a better view]

owh merdekanya

Sudah 52 negaraku merdeka, mengecapi segala kesenangan di balik kepayahan dan kesengsaraan nenek moyang. Berjuang seribu daya memerangi penjajah yang datang menjarah, membunuh dan menyeksa anak bumi, menukar tanah melayu menjadi suatu medan yang di cabul kedaulatannya, anak-anak perempuan di rogol, beras radio di rampas, anak-anak muda di kerah keringatnya untuk landasan maut. Itulah harga yang perlu di bayar untuk kesenangan kita sekarang ini. Mampu untuk hidup, dan menghirup udara yang aman di bumi bertuah ini.

Mengertikah kita selaku anak yang di katakan anak merdeka. Lahir dalam dunia yang serba moden, nak apa, cuma tunjuk, tanpa perlu berusaha keras. Sungguh mudah. Tahukah kita apa itu kemerdekaan? Tahukan kita apa semangatnya di balik laungan gempak gempita tanggal 31 ogos? Adakah ianya cuma konsert-konsert yang banyak menampilkan artis-artis luar, dengan pergaulan yang bebas laki perempuan, dan sampah sarap bertaburan menjelang pagi hari, tidak lupa juga kondom, botol-botol arak dan juga bayi. Merempit dan berpeleseran, bekmaksiat-maksiatan. Itukah merdeka wahai anak muda? Merdeka untuk buat apa sahaja tanpa mengira batas agama, moral dan batasan sivik.

Jikalau dahulu, teriakan Tunku Abdul Rahman di iringi dengan tangisan dan teriakan gembira nenek moyang. Kerna apa? Kerna mereka tahu, keperitan dan kejerihan yang mereka tanggung sebelum ini sudah berakhir. Tidak perlu lagi mereka mengisi perut dengan ubi kayu, berselindung di dalam hutan buas. Tidur malam tidak tenteram, terpaksa menunduk menyembah di kaki penjajah, di sepak di terajang, di cabul kehormatan diri juga keluarga. Semua itu sudah berakhir.

Dimana kesedaran dan semangat kemerdekaan itu? Adakah ianya sudah lupus, luput, dan pupus selepas generasi ibu bapa kita, generasi nenek moyang kita? Kita baru merdeka setengah abad, tapi kita sudah lupa akan keperitan dan kepedihan mereka yang berusaha bermati-matian untuk kita. Perlukah kita di jajah sekali lagi untuk mengingatkan kita betapa bermaknanya erti sebuah kemerdekaan itu. Mungkinkah sejarah akan berulang? Terpulang kepada kita. Kalau generasi tua dewasa asyik bergelumang dengan najis politik, dan generasi anak muda kita masih merempit dan bergelumang dengan najis dadah, tak mustahil kita akan di jajah kembali.

Semuanya terpulang kepada diri sendiri, yang merupakan generasi yang akan menyambung legasi nenek moyang, dalam membentuk suatu gagasan Malaysia yang bersatu tanpa mengira kaum, warna kulit, darjat pangkat, mahupun keturunan.

she is yasmin ahmad

“It’s never start with the idea, its start with the feeling”- yasmin ahmad

She observe and build a characters out of the feelings around her, what a brilliant person; Yasmin Ahmad. A very creative mind that always come out with very humor yet touching moment in every advertisement she made. Advertisements that most of Malaysians wait during festive season of hari raya, Chinese New Year, deepavali and also Hari Kemerdekaan in collaboration with PETRONAS. With the touch that goes through every soul that watching and light up the spirit of celebration among every races. For the last time, I heard we are able to watch her last PETRONAS ads this raya- hopefully.

Success as a film maker in Malaysia film industry and known worldwide with her award winning movies outside Malaysia such as Mukhsin, she is the best in her league and one of my favorite directors in Malaysia. She just knows how to create a very good movie’s environment blended by various races in Malaysia. Really portray the spirit of one Malaysia herself. I adore her as a good civilian who always treat other races alike and able to look forward in making the true One Malaysia.

Now she left us with her unfinished job and it is our responsible; as her fan to continue her legacy to bring all Malaysian together. Even, it’s been 2 weeks since she left us (when I wrote this), people still talk about her, about her movies and how creative she was.



We will always miss you and may God bless your soul. Al-Fatihah. The true spirit of one Malaysia; yasmin ahmad.

p/s: dah tak dapat nak tgk movie dari allahyarham yasmin lagi…

chocolate trailer by yasmin ahmad..

penuh dgn mesej diukir penuh kreatif...

The One

I’m tired of being an obedient son, I’m bored of being a good brother, and I am not blessing being a best friend. Everyone expecting of me and this is killing me. I don’t know how long I could face all this, trials and expectation, anticipation and tribulation. I’m just a human, who make mistakes after another, I’m not perfect as a robot that follow orders, never repudiate. God please help me, make my way, to choose and direct to the right tip.

It is true, everyone expecting on me, counting on me. I’m “the one” that saves the day by ignoring my feelings. Have to solve other problems, but mine? Who’s gonna solve for it..?? who’s gonna hold my hand when my two buttress started to fall apart, who’s gonna lead me to my light while I’m leading everyone to their light. Hmmm…I’m just tired, and sometimes I need someone to understand my feelings, my needs and my wishes.

selamat tinggal yasmin

perginya seorang pengarah yang pada hemat aku mampu membawa angin perubahan didalm industri perfileman malaysia..semoga arwah di cucuri rahmat-Nya dan di tempatkan di kalngan orang2 yang di kasihi-Nya...Al-Fatihah buat Kak Yasmin Ahmad